


Stars and Moons

by sonyathefairy



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-06
Updated: 2017-07-06
Packaged: 2018-11-28 15:57:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11421300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sonyathefairy/pseuds/sonyathefairy
Summary: Neil ponders about the stars and his fight with Andrew.Or in which they both realise that they can't live without the other anymore.





	Stars and Moons

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic on here, so I hope you like it.Please don't hate me too much, there's gonna be a happy ending.Maybe check out [my tumblr](http://sonyathefairy.tumblr.com)

The stars fascinate Neil.He stares up at them and wonders how many of them are already dead.Which ones are only a ghost of the past?That reminds him a little of humans.They die, but they're still in the world in one way or another.Being it in pictures, memories, books, letters, they remain in this world.A shadow of the past.He wonders what ghost he is going to leave behind when he dies.

As he stares up at the twinkling stars above, he's wondering how many of them have moons.A constant entity that revolves around them, who can glow because of them.Neil thinks that some people have moons as well.People who make them feel important, needed.People in which they bring out the best and who bring out the best in them.

He thinks of Andrew.He thinks that maybe they were each other's moons.Constants in each other's lives.Always there, attracted by a weird force that just might be gravity, a universal force bringing them together.  
Or at least that's what he'd thought.It didn't end with a bang, it ended silently, with a whimper.

Neil huffs.He remembers what Andrew told him once, that everything began with a bang.He also remembers one of the quotes from a poem that Andrew liked: "Not with a bang, but a whimper.".Of course, the difference was that one was talking about the beginning of life, and the other about the ending.

"How fitting..." Neil thought.

Neil wasn't melodramatic.Or at least, that's what he let himself think.If Andrew could see him right now he'd call him an idiot.But he wasn't there anymore.He didn't even know where Andrew was now.  
It wasn't that Neil didn't think this wasn't going to happen at one point.He just didn't think it'd happen so soon, so sudden.It started out innocent at first.Just a fight.They would get over it.But then Neil had to ruin everything, didn't he?He let those toxic words out of his mouth without realizing, a voice in his mind telling him to hurt Andrew.And he did just that:

"The only reason I was with you in the first place was because you were there.Did you actually think that anyone could ever love you?" Neil knew as soon as the words left his mouth that they were a mistake.But it was too late.Andrew was looking at him with a cool resolve that might just fool people into thinking that he didn't care.But Neil saw the spark go out of his hazel eyes as he stared at Neil.He took his keys, cigarettes and phone and left without a word.

Stupid, stupid, stupid...He just had to be that fucking stupid, didn't he?He ruined the only thing that actually made him happy without a second thought.

He waited for days on end for a sign from Andrew.And when he finally got one, it was a message stating: "It's over".No, no, no, no, no!What had he done?He couldn't, he wouldn't believe it.He didn't want to think it was over."Not with a bang, but a whimper." 

Before he knew it, Neil was on the floor, heaving.He was breaking apart and there was no one to put him back together this time.He didn't want to imagine a world without Andrew in it, but now that was his reality and he hated himself for it.

Andrew came back for his stuff some time later.Neil can't remember when exactly.The days after their fight all blurred into one miserable thing.He pushed past Neil without a word when he opened the door and began packing his stuff.Even though Neil understood, he still felt horrible, hurt.Seeing Andrew only made it worse.He had shadows under his eyes that told him that he hadn't been sleeping much.Not that Neil had.

When he was done, Andrew came into the living room.Maybe to say goodbye.Neil took this opportunity to tell him what was on his mind ever since their fight.

"Andrew, I- " His voice was thick with emotion. "I know that there's nothing I can do or say to make you change your mind, but..." He swallowed hard, trying and failing to keep his building emotions in check. "I don't want you to leave thinking I meant what I said...That I never...I never loved you." His voice was starting to break. "Because I did, and I still do and I hate myself so much for telling you all those cruel things." Tears started rolling down his face, but he didn't care.He needed Andrew to know the truth. "I just didn't want you to leave thinking I didn't, that's all..." He trailed off, eyes trained on the ground.When he finally looked up, Andrew was gripping the handle of his bag tightly, his expression clouded.Andrew didn't believe in regret, Neil knew that.But he still hoped that maybe, maybe he wouldn't leave.But Andrew just nodded and turned around, leaving for the second time.Only this time, forever.

Neil snapped back into the present with a start.It had been a month since then.He should've been over it by now.Neil sighed.He thought that maybe he will never be fully over it.

Neil heard footsteps behind him.He didn't want to hope it was Andrew, because that was very unlikely, but as he turned around and saw his silhouette illuminated by the harsh light of the moon, he didn't know what to think anymore.

Andrew sat close to him, but not close enough to touch.They stood like that for a long while before Andrew broke the silence.

"I've been thinking..." Andrew said, shaking out a cigarette and lighting it. "about what you said."

"And?" Neil said, swallowing the knot in his throat, his voice raspy from disuse.

"And I think that not having you around to pester me might not be as appealing as I thought it would."

It was as much an "I can't live without you anymore" as Andrew was going to admit.

"Yes or no?" Neil asked, hand outstreched.

Andrew eyed it curiously before answering.

"Yes."

Neil took Andrew's hand in his and squeezed.It was as much a "Me neither" as Neil could muster in that moment.Things weren't going to be easy for some time on, but Neil didn't care as long as he had Andrew beside him.They were going to figure things out together.And that just might be enough for the both of them.


End file.
